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http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonos_world/83502835/

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Monsters VS Aliens

Watching the beginning of ‘Monsters VS Aliens’ reminds me of soaring through the cosmos on a flying bed with some friends of mine. The animated cinematography captured the look and feel of what it was like to travel though outer space. And as the film progresses from up there to down here on good ol Terra Firma, the characters we meet (the monsters in particular) through the course of film remind me of my friends because there all so quirky and off the beaten path and are just plain fun to hang out. They also come in handy when you need to count on someone to give you a hand when some evil foe, force, or fiend tries to do you in.

Lets Meet the Monsters, Aliens, and others that you have a chance to spend 90 minutes in a darken theater or on home video when it comes out.

WHEN IT COMES OUT.
You darn movie pirates will not escape Justice.

General W.R. Monger: This lovely gentleman (played by Jack Bauer) heads a secret military base where he keeps his collection of Monsters he has collected. He saves them for a rainy day when bad people or aliens decide to invade the United States. America we learn is the only place where UFO’s ever land. He is about 90 years old but is in good shape for his age.

The Missing Link (Will Arnett) is a monster captured by Monger who is a fish-ape hybrid mixture of a being unfrozen by scientists after 20,000 stuck in ice. He is a puffed up macho out-of shape jock type of guy who is an expert martial-artist in his own mind. He is not as good as he thinks he is, but at times is actually better then he thinks that he is doing. Does that make any sense to you at all? It should if you understand what I’m saying.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D. ( Hugh Laurie) While trying to imbue the good attributes of a cockroach into his system (longevity of life), this nutty scientist managed to gain the head of a cockroach as a side effect. Human bugs are not fun to look at, so in with the Monsters he goes.

B.O.B. (Bicarbonate Ostylezene Benzonate (Seth Rogen) Bob is what you get when you mix a genetically-altered tomato flavored with chemically –altered ranch dressing. This fine combo created a indestructible gelatinous mass that somehow has achieved intelligent conscienceless despite not having a brain. He can he talk and do the things he does with no brain? The scarecrow reminds us ,“ Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? “ He is a wise man. He has consulted me on a few occasions. Wise man.

Insectosaurus (Conrad Vernon). A very gentle 350 foot giant grub turned from little guy to big guy by nuclear radiation. He has the same mentality as a house pet (normal human house pets that is) and has a good budding relationship with the Missing Link.


Gallaxhar (Dwight Schrute) is a very messed up evil alien who destroyed his own planet and wants to do the same to earth. He might have left earth alone had his quantonium not plummeted to earth and turned Susan Murphy into a 49' 11 ½ foot woman. More on her in a moment. He doesn’t need much to conquer earth except his giant robot and several thousand clones of himself.




Susan Murphy (the beautiful human known as Reese Witherspoon) was a normal human women, about to marry a stuck -up selfish jerk, when the meteorite containing the quantonium hit earth turning her into what Monger dubbed her Ginormica. Being almost 50 feet tall she starts to see life from a very different view point. She’s the kind of girl you either wish would grow small again or you would grow large for. She is the best and biggest thing in this film, which is why I listed her last of all the characters.

Actually I must also mention

President Hathaway (Steven Colbert) This swave slick politician is not going down as the president that let America and the world fall under alien invasion. He is smart enough to go along with Monger’s plan, but not smart enough to make the big red nuclear bomb button different then the instant coffee button.

Together these characters bring you a host of gags, jokes, and other amusing moments in a simple plot which has the Monsters trying to stop the army of Gallaxer clones from taking over the earth. The most amusing moment for my $ is when the giant robot chases Susan around deserted San Francisco. She takes two abandon cars and uses them as roller skates. Usually giants are not that bright. Look at the giant who fell after trying to chase Jack down the beanstalk. Hello. What you think the boy was going to do.

This movie is a lot of fun. This was especially true with the human sitting next to me. He laughed so hard I think he peed his pants.

Mind you this is no Pixar. It has some movie flow problems but the good characters and spectacular scenery is causing me to give this film 3 Booya’s out of 5 Booya’s.
I believe a elf (me for example) would be good to add to the next film. I’m assuming the big box office returns will warrant a sequel.
This has been a Banyai the Elf Story Blazer report
Copyright Storyblazer 2009

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