Pre-Review of UP

Up- Pre-Review

Sometimes the time for timely writing is difficult to find the time to do. It seems as when I actually find that time and grab on to it and try to milk from it, all that it’s worth, some interference, interruption or inter-annoyance gums up the clock. I have had actually wads of giant gum shot at me from a gum gun.
As I was floating in my little log Cabin over the Atlantic Ocean, trying to Storyblaze the latest film review, our cinematic film review rivals’ , the Flick Fighters, showed up floating on their little rain clouds, determined to rain on my writing parade. If you’re wondering , my LLC was held UP by a inflatable

Floating Bugs Bunny.


“What’s Up Doc?”

“I am you silly wabbit”.

Sometimes the latest films will have me doing something similar to what I saw in the film. It helps me to write and think more clearly. Before the Flick Fighters fired their lightning bolts at me, they fired their insults and accusations. As I came out of theater with my leprechaun girl friend and my friend who happens to be a tall ray elf, we talked and were overheard by a Flick Fighter. They didn’t like my review of the new Star Trek and didn’t like my negative comments on the new Pixar. They didn’t want to wait for strike two to be written before I sent it out and corrupted minds with my corrupted review.

All I said was that Star Trek had too many dang close-ups, too many nonchalant attitudes, “Time Travel? That’s totally reasonable although It never happen before”, and a love affair with Spock and Uhura that neither added or subtracted anything from the film. This review was destroyed by some overzealous Flick Fighter Trekies. Now some overzealous Flick Fighter Pixies, I mean that literally, were there to challenge my negative thoughts of ‘UP’, the latest Pixar film. Here is what we ended Up talking about.

And why the Flick Fighters got so worked Up.

Overall I did like ‘Up’, but not as much as some other Pixar films that I have seen. I thought it was missing some of the nice little Easter egg eye candy that other Pixar films have had. Not that Generation X cultural references are important in the overall scope of a film, but they added some fun stuff to look out for. I also thought once the prolog was over, the story jumped to the main part of the story too quickly without the usual Pixar build up that really paced the film out well. Pacing is a big thing for me.

I thought we would see the Balloon Powered House travel over landscapes with beautiful stunning views before it reached its final destination. But it pretty much went to the clouds then South America. Then they found the Bird and the talking dogs and then the villain. All that quickly. I guess instead of getting to the heart of the story so quickly they could have built up the story more with other extra goodies and treats. At one point they talked about a possible flash forward that turned out to be plot background. They talked about a labyrinth that the big rare bird hid in and that the minion dogs got lost in, and then they never showed it. A hint at something cool that never came about.

My girlfriend went thinking she would be seeing a cute fun and friendly kids film. She was expecting loads of fun especially because it was in 3D. The 3D really didn’t add anything to the story by the way. It didn’t make it a more visually exciting experience. Kind of like Spock and Uhura in Star Trek. She ended up going to this film to laugh which she did, especially at the Talking Dog’s bad squirrel Joke.

But she cried more then laughed. To quote her, “You expect this kind of sad story on Lifetime but not in a Kids’ 3D film”. Now this aspect of the film didn’t really bother me, I think it isn’t necessarily a bad thing to cry at a animated film. But her expectations were directed elsewhere from what she expected as were mind, which is why it didn’t thrill me enough to want to go out and see it again on the big screen, although I do have some other elf friends who will want to see it.

But even though I had some somewhat negative things to say, I wasn’t going to write about those in my review. As I sit back and think about the film, I find that there is plenty of Story to Blaze out of it. It is overall a very good film because it is a Pixar film and even their stuff that isn’t the best is still better then most stuff that is considered the best. In fact the film may take another look around to perhaps appreciate it more.

I was trying to explain all this to the Flick Fighters but they didn’t like the fact that I found anything negative at all. The next couple of hours had me running away from them in my Little Log Floating Cabin as they tried to strike me with lighting from their little black rainclouds. The Bugs Bunny Float was lighting proof, which made the chase last so long. They were finally swallowed by a Great Blue Whale, giving me time to escape. I haven’t had time to write my real Story Blazer review of Up, but that is coming up. It’s good that I write this one, that way I get all my negative criticisms out of my system. It just goes to show you that certain films like close friends, you can love them for who they are but yet still pick out those things that need to be improved.

This is a Pre-Review Banyai the Elf StoryBlazer Report.

Earth

Earth

In the Milky Way Galaxy lies a particular solar system where much of the universe’s activities take place. Most of the happenings originate from a tiny blue planet, three planets away from a star. Actually it’s more like a giant ball of Gas then it is a real star. Several civilizations light years away have tried to conquer it without much success. Several species have stayed away from the planet because they think it a boring place with too many un-intelligent life forms.

In reality ‘Earth’ is a diversity of activity both extremely exciting and extremely ordinary. It encompasses both smart and dumb living things and dumb smart living & dumb smart living things. Overall ‘Earth’ is a great place to live in any century. In fifth month of rotation around that star in the 2009th year since time was reordered due to the birth of an extraordinary member of the human race who also happens to be existence itself, several exciting stories are going to be happening simultaneously at the same time.

While mutants are preparing to do battle in North America, Elephants in Africa are doing battle against the harsh climate and against a pride of hungry lions. Real life danger and drama is just as exciting as two indestructible beings dukeing it out.

While two ‘Lost’ pre-series recruits (one human & one alien) are training to Trek across the universe, a camera crew is trekking across the globe capturing sites and sounds where no man has gone too many times before. Unseen wonders and exciting landscapes are brought as evidence of a world that did not spring from nothing. It’s amazing how many worlds exist on one planet.

While Forrest Gump and Oppie are preparing to present a story against belief in the Grand Storyteller, ‘Earth’ itself presents an argument for the Grand Storyteller. The planet we live in is positioned just right for life to exist and the position itself influences the seasons which run the planet. It was positioned at any other degree, I wouldn’t be here to write what I’m writing.

While spending a ‘A Night at the’ Smithsonian ‘Museum’ several historical figures come together under one roof. On the ‘Earth’, several species, Penguins, Whales, Polar Bears & more come together under one planet.

While Robots in the future come to destroy humans, Sharks come to destroy seals and a Hungry Polar Bear comes to destroy some Walruses. Destructive predators whether man made or natural can cause serious damage to living things. Of course sharks and polar bears just want a snack, the robots just want to annihilate the human race.
While an old man and a cub scout are floating ‘Up’ into the Disney clouds, the eye of the cinema is ‘Up’ above the Earth seen from the ‘Nature of Disney’ perspective.

‘Earth’ is a fascinating place to visit. Having Darth Vader lead you around the planet makes it fun. After all who knows planets better then a guy who has conquered the whole universe? If you enjoy a romp around the world in 90 minutes you might like the longer spread out look at ‘Planet Earth’, already available for home viewing. The Short cinematic big screen experience is cut from the Long Television small screen experience. Either way I write it, visit the planet you live on and see the wonders of the world around you, you probably wouldn’t see if you didn’t see what other’s have seen and captured for you.

This has been a Banyai the Elf StoryBlazer Report

Twilight

A fellow elf told me that what ‘Brokeback Mountain’ did to cowboys, ‘Twilight’ did to vampires. I had this thought in mind as I stood in the bookstore with a gaggle of pre-teen human girls awaiting midnight and Twilight to flicker onto the buying shelves. Despite ‘Twilight’ marring slightly the truth about vampires ( they don’t glow in sunlight they burn) it overall wasn’t a bad movie.

Just like in the film, there are some good non-human drinking vampires, but the majority I run into need a stake through the heart. ‘The Lost Boys’ was a more adequate adaptation of what Vampire’s are really like. The novel ‘Dracula’ even more so. The love story in ‘Twi’ is better then LB. The Romeo vampire actually held back his hormones when they were raging wildly like a forest fire ready to burn.

Evil vampires are afraid of crosses and don’t like Holy Water. Garlic is bad also. I wanted the Frog brothers to come in and kick a little butt. A group of blood-suckers was in the store at the time I was there, hoping to snack on some tweens, but an adventure occurred in which I got rid of them, all without having to mess up the store and scare people with dead corpses lying around. That is an entry for my blog if I ever decide to start one about my personal elfin life among humans.

The movie illustrates the point that one does not have to give into one’s desires if the desires will cause harm upon another. Mind you it would be better not to put one self into a situation where you would have to try and control yourself. The movie also points out that vampires really know how to play baseball. I really enjoyed the family of good vampires, jumping around the baseball field. They were a good lot and protected the human girl Bella from a bunch of nasty blood-suckers. Bella is the chick who falls in love/lust/infatuation with the vampire known as Edward Cullen.

‘Twilight’ is not a bright light in the movie industry nor is it just ‘Twilight’ either. It might give people a wrong impression of vampires as being mostly harmless. But most people don’t run into vampires anyway so I guess it can’t hurt watching it. It is a fairly normal look at what it might be for a teenager to get caught up in a relationship that could but doesn’t go badly. That almost sounds like a oxy moron. 3 ½ Booya’s out of 5. Remember this film and others to follow simply want to suck the blood out of you.

I think I was trying to have that sound more witty then it came out.

This has been a Banyai the Elf Storyblazer report

Copyright StoryBlazers 2009

Monsters VS Aliens

Watching the beginning of ‘Monsters VS Aliens’ reminds me of soaring through the cosmos on a flying bed with some friends of mine. The animated cinematography captured the look and feel of what it was like to travel though outer space. And as the film progresses from up there to down here on good ol Terra Firma, the characters we meet (the monsters in particular) through the course of film remind me of my friends because there all so quirky and off the beaten path and are just plain fun to hang out. They also come in handy when you need to count on someone to give you a hand when some evil foe, force, or fiend tries to do you in.

Lets Meet the Monsters, Aliens, and others that you have a chance to spend 90 minutes in a darken theater or on home video when it comes out.

WHEN IT COMES OUT.
You darn movie pirates will not escape Justice.

General W.R. Monger: This lovely gentleman (played by Jack Bauer) heads a secret military base where he keeps his collection of Monsters he has collected. He saves them for a rainy day when bad people or aliens decide to invade the United States. America we learn is the only place where UFO’s ever land. He is about 90 years old but is in good shape for his age.

The Missing Link (Will Arnett) is a monster captured by Monger who is a fish-ape hybrid mixture of a being unfrozen by scientists after 20,000 stuck in ice. He is a puffed up macho out-of shape jock type of guy who is an expert martial-artist in his own mind. He is not as good as he thinks he is, but at times is actually better then he thinks that he is doing. Does that make any sense to you at all? It should if you understand what I’m saying.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D. ( Hugh Laurie) While trying to imbue the good attributes of a cockroach into his system (longevity of life), this nutty scientist managed to gain the head of a cockroach as a side effect. Human bugs are not fun to look at, so in with the Monsters he goes.

B.O.B. (Bicarbonate Ostylezene Benzonate (Seth Rogen) Bob is what you get when you mix a genetically-altered tomato flavored with chemically –altered ranch dressing. This fine combo created a indestructible gelatinous mass that somehow has achieved intelligent conscienceless despite not having a brain. He can he talk and do the things he does with no brain? The scarecrow reminds us ,“ Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? “ He is a wise man. He has consulted me on a few occasions. Wise man.

Insectosaurus (Conrad Vernon). A very gentle 350 foot giant grub turned from little guy to big guy by nuclear radiation. He has the same mentality as a house pet (normal human house pets that is) and has a good budding relationship with the Missing Link.


Gallaxhar (Dwight Schrute) is a very messed up evil alien who destroyed his own planet and wants to do the same to earth. He might have left earth alone had his quantonium not plummeted to earth and turned Susan Murphy into a 49' 11 ½ foot woman. More on her in a moment. He doesn’t need much to conquer earth except his giant robot and several thousand clones of himself.




Susan Murphy (the beautiful human known as Reese Witherspoon) was a normal human women, about to marry a stuck -up selfish jerk, when the meteorite containing the quantonium hit earth turning her into what Monger dubbed her Ginormica. Being almost 50 feet tall she starts to see life from a very different view point. She’s the kind of girl you either wish would grow small again or you would grow large for. She is the best and biggest thing in this film, which is why I listed her last of all the characters.

Actually I must also mention

President Hathaway (Steven Colbert) This swave slick politician is not going down as the president that let America and the world fall under alien invasion. He is smart enough to go along with Monger’s plan, but not smart enough to make the big red nuclear bomb button different then the instant coffee button.

Together these characters bring you a host of gags, jokes, and other amusing moments in a simple plot which has the Monsters trying to stop the army of Gallaxer clones from taking over the earth. The most amusing moment for my $ is when the giant robot chases Susan around deserted San Francisco. She takes two abandon cars and uses them as roller skates. Usually giants are not that bright. Look at the giant who fell after trying to chase Jack down the beanstalk. Hello. What you think the boy was going to do.

This movie is a lot of fun. This was especially true with the human sitting next to me. He laughed so hard I think he peed his pants.

Mind you this is no Pixar. It has some movie flow problems but the good characters and spectacular scenery is causing me to give this film 3 Booya’s out of 5 Booya’s.
I believe a elf (me for example) would be good to add to the next film. I’m assuming the big box office returns will warrant a sequel.
This has been a Banyai the Elf Story Blazer report
Copyright Storyblazer 2009